the world in which we live in...

Well, I am sitting at my computer at work, bored out of my mind. So I am writing this nonsensical blog. Well, I experienced Europe for a month and loved it. I can't wait to go back. But who knows when the heck that will be. Since I've been back I've had alot to think about. I have decided to apply to the grad school program I have been looking at for the last year or so. It is a Master's in Women's Health at Suffolk University in Boston. The only reason I had almost ruled out going to this school was because my ex-boyfriend recently moved to Boston with his current girlfriend. So the thought of going to Boston was making me sick. Then after looking for similiar master's programs in CA and other places, I couldn't find a program that even compares to the one in Boston. So I decided that I need to stop letting him make decisions for me, without even being around me. It is stupid to let a stupid ex-boyfriend get in the way of my professional dreams and doing what's best for me and my future. So fuck him. I'm going to Boston. I haven't talked to him since just before he left to move there, and I probably won't talk to him again. And Boston is a big city, so it is unlikely I would run into him there. Plus, I wouldn't be going there until fall of next year, and who knows if he would even still be living there. So, I am not gonaa let him influence my choice. I'm gonna do what I want. And now I am actually excited to start this program next year. Ofcourse I still have to be accepted to the program first!! Let's keep our fingers crossed!!

P.S. Don't forget to vote! Don't let someone else decide for you!!

this land is your land, this land is my land...

Well. In about 2 days I will be sitting in a coffee shop in London, watching the passerby. I have been dreaming of this trip to Europe for about 3 yrs now, and it is finally a reality. I am excited and a little bit scared! But the excitement has really taken over! I can't wait for all the great experiences I am going to have and all the people I will meet. I am looking forward to finding out new things about myself, and hopefully becoming a stronger person. But mostly I just wanna have fun and take it all in!! So, I will check back in later! See ya on the flip side!

oh what a world, what a world...

I haven't written in a while, but have yet to come up with anything really clever in my own words worth jotting down. And my brain is far too fried and emotionally overloaded right now to do much of anything. So I figured, why not write down some of my favorite qoutes from other people? So, that's what I'm going to do. I will put the author on the ones I know for sure and remember the author's name. So for now, enjoy these words that have either brought me joy, sadness, strength, inspiration, or laughter.

"For sorrow memory was given; if peace of mind is your demand, forget!" - form the book "Astrid and Veronika" by Linda Olsson* (any other quotes marked with a * are from this same author)

"Tonight you're invited to dance with the mist..." *

"for nothing hurts like you..." *

"I whisper 'yes' and 'always' as I lie waiting for thunder from a stone sky" *

"Oh how can I quiet my heart, that is tossed from north to south?" *

"now let me sing you gentle songs..." *

"first you wanna ride off into the sun, then you wanna shoot straight to the -moon..." - Bright Eyes

"Leap and the net will appear" - Jason Mraz (Make it Mine)

"Open up your mind and see like me. Open up your plans and damn your free..." -Jason Mraz (I'm Yours)

"See that girl, as her own new world. Though her home is on the surface, she is still a universe. Glory God, oh God is peeking through the blinds. Are we all here standing naked, taking guesses, at the actual date and time..." - Jason Mraz (Live High)

"Maybe I'll build my house on your cloud..." - Jason Mraz (Plane)

"And I will find a way to you if it kills me, if it kills me...I think it might kill me..." - Jason Mraz (If It Kills Me)

"You are strong, but you're needy; humble but you're greedy; and based on your body language and shotty cursive I've been reading, your style is quite selective, though your mind is rather wreckless; well I guess this just suggests that this is just what happiness is..." - Jason Mraz (Beautiful Mess)

"I do not keep up with statistics, I do not sleep without a mistress. I do not eat unless it's fixed with some kind of sweet like the licorice. My home is deep inside the mystics, I'm known to keep diggin' on existence. I'm holdin' in the heat like a fishstick, my phone it beeps because I missed it..." - Jason Mraz (Dynamo of Voltion)

"If it's a broken part, replace it. If it's a broken arm, then brace it. If it's a broken heart, then face it..." - Jason Mraz (Details in the Fabric)


Ok, that's enough for one night. These are by no means all of the quotes I meant to put up here. I keep thinking of more and more, but my head is sleepy and I must work tomorrow morning. So, another day I will add more.

Have you any idea?

Have you any idea how the sound of your voice has changed?

Have you any idea how your touch has affected me? How your love has changed me?

Have you any idea how your kisses have chilled me? How your passion has enveloped me?

Have you any idea how your arms have caressed me? How your love brought me to life?

Have you any idea how your betrayal has killed me? How your decision has harmed me?

Have you any idea of the pain that I feel? How you have broken my heart?

Have you nay idea of the love that you've forgotten? How you have left me all alone?

Have you any idea of the confusion you've caused? How I've all but given up on true love because of you?

Have you any idea how often you cross my mind? How often, I wonder, do I cross yours?

Have you any idea if you'll love me again? How can I move on when you have no idea?

Have you any idea of the twist in my stomach when I hear her name? How my fists clench in anger and resentment?

Have you any idea the life we could have had? How our love could grow instead of pushed underground?

Have you any idea the mistake you have made? How I'll never look at you the same, no matter how much I want to? How I'll never trust you like I used to? How I'll never be as happy without you? How and why did you give up on us? To do what you claimed you weren't ready to do with me, with her?

Have you any idea?

whether the weather matters, matters not...

It has been a while since I have written down the happenings in my life. I was in a car accident last week that totaled my car and killed a cow. Basically I was driving home from my dad's house at night in the fog, and I come up this bend and there are 3 black cows in the middle of my lane. So I slam on my brakes and turn to the left and hit a cow on th passenger's side. The cow flips over my car and lands on my trunk shattering the back windshield, and stays there. It was still alive when my car came to a stop and I pulled over to the side of the road. I could hear the cow breathing. It was terrible. Luckily, I didn't get hurt at all. Not a scratch on me. However my car is done for, and this whole week I've been dealing with the insurance company trying to get the money for a new car. Of course I still owed Toyota for my old car, so I ended up only getting a check for $3300. But that's better than nothing. So I got a new 2008 Toyota Corrolla S. Automatic, white with black interior. It's pretty cool. This is my first brand new car. So, now that most of this mess is all over I'll be able to get back to normal and not be so stressed out. In other news I have met someone who has brightened up my life since my last blog. I am taking things slow and testing the waters. But he is a great guy and I am excited to get to know him better and to see what we can do together. It is funny how unexpected life can be. Whenever I get used to the way things are, they change. Which I am coming to terms with. I have decided this year to not be so afraid of life. I have decided that I need to take some new risks instead of just dreaming about them. I have also been thinking a lot about the future. I know I am only 23 years old, but I feel like time is going faster than I can keep track. I am going to explore career and grad school options. And find new ways of expanding my mind, since I do not have college to do that for me anymore. All in all I am hopeful and optimistic for 2008. I look forward to lots of time spent with friends and family; time spent traveling. And ofcourse Jason Mraz has a new album coming out this spring that I know will rejuvinate my soul for years to come. I can't wait! Here's to looking forward to 2008 even after the rocky start!